I am so sorry for the lull in my posts. I am unable to split my attention between projects, and I was completely absorbed in editing my book. I just sent it off to my editor for this last round of edits before I begin to query agents. I told my husband that I want to have a celebration but not your typical celebration...
In late December, my husband was studying to pass a brutally complex and cryptic exam (otherwise known as the CISPP). Toward the end of November, I decided to make a reservation at our favorite restaurant to celebrate his accomplishment. When I told him about my plan he looked less than thrilled. He pointed out that now he felt even more pressure to pass the exam. I immediately understood where I had erred. I am as both an educator and mindfulness teacher-in-training and in the classroom I emphasize the importance of effort over results with my students. My students know all about Carol Dweck's work on the fixed mindset versus growth mindset, and over the years I've tried to build a classroom environment that supports a growth mindset.
The celebratory dinner I had planned for my husband had placed all emphasis on the results of him passing his exam and not on the effort leading up to it! I then said to my husband, "What if we keep the reservation and celebrate all the time and energy you've invested in studying for this exam. What if we call it an effort party?" He preferred that phrasing and even though he passed his exam we still stuck to the original plan of celebrating his efforts.
Now, it's my turn for an effort party. Sure, I would absolutely love to say, "I'm throwing a party in honor of my book deal," but I can't say that just yet. Instead, what I can do is celebrate all the effort I've put into my book and how far I've come.
